By Stu Singer. For more, check out WellPerformance.com
One of the most common things I hear from athletes is: “I’m feeling so much pressure… and it’s killing my confidence.” The typical response from parents or coaches is well-intentioned but usually ineffective: “You don’t have anything to be nervous about. Just relax.” Unfortunately, that advice rarely works. In fact, it can sometimes make the anxiety worse. Not because the person isn’t attempting to give well intentioned advice—but because it misunderstands how the nervous system actually works.
Why Pressure Happens
Any time the following two things are present, the brain activates the stress response:
1. We care deeply about the outcome.
2. The outcome is uncertain.
When that combination appears, the body prepares for action. Hormones like cortisol increase and the nervous system moves into what we commonly call the fight-or-flight response.
In sports, this switch gets flipped all the time:
- A big match
- A coach watching from the stands
- Competing for a roster spot or to be in the starting 11
- A high-stakes tryout
These moments matter. And because they matter, the body responds. The goal is not to eliminate that response. The goal is to learn how to work with it.
The Real Issue: Where Attention Goes
Pressure alone rarely destroys performance. Most athletes have at least one experience that they can reflect on where they felt great pressure and then went out and performed well. More often, what happens is that our attention drifts to the wrong place. And it happens over and over again if we don’t act upon it. Instead of focusing on actions we can control, the mind moves toward:
- What if I mess up?
- What will the coach think?
- What happens if we lose?
The brain is a pattern making machine. When attention shifts this way, normal competitive stress can quickly turn into overwhelm. The situation isn’t the issue. The focus is.
A Three-Step Reset
When pressure builds, I teach athletes a simple system to bring their attention back to where it belongs.
1. Normalize the Feeling (acceptance)
Butterflies, nerves, and anxious energy are normal. Even the best athletes in the world feel them before important performances. Instead of fighting the feeling, acknowledge it: “These feelings should be here.” The goal isn’t to eliminate pressure. The goal is to know what to do with it.
2. Breathe
Next, regulate the body. One simple method is 6-1-7 breathing:
- Inhale for 6 seconds
- Pause for 1 second
- Exhale for 7 seconds
Deep breathing helps calm the nervous system, bringing you back to the present moment and reminding the body that it is safe.
3. Focus on the Next Action
Finally, redirect attention to what you control right now. Not the whole game. Just the next moment. One athlete I work with asks himself during competition: “What do I control in the next 10 seconds?” His answers are simple:
- Find space
- Keep communicating
Both are clear, present, and fully within his control. They are the mantra for his “NEXT ACTIONS.”
What Really Changes
When pressure shows up, the situation usually stays the same. The game still matters. The coach is still watching. But what can change is where your attention goes inside the moment. When attention shifts from: "What if I fail?" To, "What action can I execute right now?" pressure becomes something you can work with instead of something that overwhelms you.
So when you feel those nerves before competition, remember:
1. Normalize it – These feelings are part of competing.
2. Breathe – Calm the nervous system.
3. Act – Focus on the next controllable action.
You’re not changing the situation. You’re training your mind to focus within it.
Check out the NEW Audio File, "Dealing With Pressure" from Stu, in the Techne App.
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